MARYSIA’S JOURNEY

A Double Birth, A Single Moment of Shock

When Karolina became a mother at 27, she expected the usual joys and surprises of welcoming twins into the world. Nothing prepared her for the moments she recalls shortly after their birth.

“I learned that one of my children was born with Down syndrome after the birth. During pregnancy, I never received any information suggesting the possibility of a genetic disorder. You know that these things happen yet never thought it couldn’t happen to us… especially since we were having twins. Still, it happened and the information given by the doctor that our daughter had Down syndrome was shocking. In that moment, fear and sorrow eclipsed happiness. Our world, but mine for sure, collapsed at that moment… overshadowing the celebration of the birth of two children.”

While her husband embraced the new chapter with strength and joy, Karolina was consumed by questions. “I was scared about how to handle it all but after leaving the hospital and taking the bull by the horns, rehabilitation started and we began constant exercises to improve Marysia’s abilities.”

Marysia’s development hasn’t always been easy. “The biggest challenge? Probably accepting that my daughter would never be like her peers,” – says the mother with honestly. “Even when she was little, she was noticeably different and it was even harder to accept because her twin brother was developing normally.”

The early years were spent driving from therapy to therapy… “I felt like the first five years of Marysia’s childhood were spent in a car. I believed that the more hours spent in various therapies, the more Marysia would become like her peers. However, over time, I realised and accepted that she is who she is… and the syndrome cannot be ‘fixed’ no matter how many therapies we have.”

Still, Karolina kept showing up, for Marysia, for her family and for the future… and then came the first judo lesson!

Finding Judo, Finding Herself, Sacrifices and Regrets

Everything changed when Karolina heard about a judo club offering classes for children with disabilities; “When Ada and Paweł founded the club UKS Ada Judo Fun and suggested judo classes we didn’t hesitate to try this form of activity for Marysia.” At age seven, Marysia stepped onto a judo mat for the first time. It quickly became more than just an activity;

“I remember the moment when Ada said that Marysia was ready to go to her first competition with her older friends. I didn’t know how she imagined it. After all, I didn’t think Marysia was ready to step onto the mat and fight. I am not sure if she was aware at the time that it was a competition; she just went to the event. She went and took 4th place, and she was so proud and we were proud with her.” – Karolina recalls.

Marysia’s journey through judo hasn’t always been a fairy-tale story. Even on days when the drive feels long and motivation runs low for the pair of them, Karolina knows it’s worth it and every step forward matters as the improvement is evident. “Even when she comes out exhausted, sometimes tearful… we both know it was worth it. Now she always says she’s going for gold,” – the mom shares. “It is still hard for her to accept when she loses but I suppose none of us like to lose, so it’s no surprise.” There is also a memorable milestone the mother likes to recall; “Representing Poland in a competition in Italy. I won’t hide it; that was a wow moment.”

Supporting Marysia’s judo career requires dedication and sometimes, sacrifices: “Because we live in the countryside, I don’t really have time for myself but one thing is for sure, I don’t regret it.” Still, one truth weighs heavily on Karolina’s heart: “I regret not having dedicated the same amount of time to my son. When he was younger, Marysia’s needs absorbed more of my time.” Now that Franek is older and more independent, their bond remains strong but the memory lingers.

“We Feel Good Together”

Thankfully, Marysia’s family never felt isolated within their home or close circle; “Our family or friends often spent time at our house. I do remember, however, a situation in preschool when one of the teachers, of course behind my back, referred to Marysia as ‘Down.’ That really hurt.”

Over the years, their support network has evolved and grown stronger through judo. “The community we have created as the ‘judo family’… is something that gives us a full, valuable image of our children. We feel good together.” She laughs as she adds, “We moms try to go on trips together to spend carefree time without our kids. I don’t know why the dads from our judo family haven’t been able to do this yet, well, that’s their loss.”

Judo hasn’t just built Marysia’s strength, it’s shaped her spirit and Karolina further explains: “Thanks to judo, Marysia has become a very self-confident person, maybe even too much at times but looking at it from a parent’s perspective, it’s probably sometimes better to hold a child back than to push them into everything.”

Thought plenty to remember, there was one occasion that delivered a pitch perfect moment: “Winning a gold medal at the Trisomy Games in Turkey in 2024 was, I must say without modesty, a moment when we almost burst with pride. Every small achievement of my children is a reason for joy for us. But winning a gold medal…is truly something special.”

The Society Is Still Catching Up

While Karolina didn’t have to fight alone, thanks to the support of the Ja Też Foundation in Gdańsk and the judo coaches, she recognises that many parents do. Still, challenges remain. “I think that our society is more accepting of children with Down syndrome but I believe there is still a long road ahead. As long as our children are in school, we as parents are assured of education and care. The problem arises when they turn 24… There are no places where adults with Down syndrome can work according to their abilities. They should be able to leave the house and feel needed.”

Karolina believes that judo, however, has also helped change perceptions. “I think that because Marysia practices judo and achieves success, our society, and I can speak for people in our circle, sees families with children with special needs as families who can also enjoy life. Is it all about medals? Definitely not. For Marysia, judo is the best form of physical activity and rehabilitation and thanks to the coaches who gave her the opportunity to travel, it is also the best way for her to socialise.”

Marysia was recently honoured with the Hope of the Year 2024 award in her city which once again shows a step forward for inclusion across the society. Karolina adds; “That moment brought so many emotions for me that it’s hard to even describe. I am so grateful that thanks to the coaches, the City of Gdańsk began to recognise the sport of people with intellectual disabilities.”

As Karolina reflects on the road behind her and the one ahead her message is simple:

“I would like to tell other parents who are just starting their journey and learning that they have children with Down syndrome that despite many challenges and difficulties, it is possible to be happy. That’s it, and maybe that’s enough.”

“Did our happiness come from meeting judo coaches Ada and Paweł on our path? I can definitely say yes. Because as they say, ‘Judo is more than just a sport,’ and they are absolutely right. So I have one more thing to say; Thank You!”

Images: Karolina, Marysia’s mother

Author: Szandra Szogedi

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